For Towel Day, the commemoration of Douglas Adams’ authorship of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Barrister & Mann presents our tribute to his brilliant work: 42, a soap that smells of petunias, ambergris, tea, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (lemon sugar). Grab a copy of the Guide, a cup of tea, and your shaving brush; it’s going to be a hell of a ride.
DON’T PANIC.
The Streaming Consciousness of the Whale
Another thing that nobody made too much fuss about was that, against all probability, a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence some miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it had to come to terms with suddenly not being a whale any more.
“Ah! What’s happening? Er, excuse me? Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by, ‘Who am I’? Calm down! Get a grip now! Oh, this is an interesting sensation. It’s a sort of yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … Well, I better start finding names for things, so let’s call it my stomach. So, a yawning, tingling sensation in my stomach. And that whistling, roaring sound? That can be wind. Perhaps I can find a better name for it later. Hey, what’s this thing? Let’s call it a tail! Yeah, tail. Hey, I can really thrash it about pretty good, can’t I? Wow! Wow! Hey! Doesn’t seem to achieve much, but I’ll probably figure out what it’s for later on. Oh, hey, this is really exciting! So much to find out about, so much to look forward to. I’m dizzy with anticipation. What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very, very fast … so big and flat and wide, it needs a big, wide-sounding word, like round … round … ground! That’s it — ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?”
Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was,
“Oh no, not again.”